The Dentists Dream

By Edward Samson, L.D.S.R.C.S. Eng., F.C.S.


Beside the extracted he lay,

His forceps in his hand,

His face was white, a sorry sight

On such a dentist grand.

Again in the sun and glory of sleep

He saw that Promised Land.

There in the picture of his dreams

The perfect dentist stood;

Beneath him in the dental chair,

As still as carven wood,

The patient listened while he talked—

As every patient should.

He spoke at length of Vitamins

A, B and C and d;

Of how such things ingested oft

Would leave one caries-free.

A smile spread o’er the sleeper’s face

Such paradise to see,

And then in leisurely way he walked

Along a river’s bank

In which raw milk flowed ever on;

To which the people sank—

At each gulp their bad teeth, with caries beneath,

Became sound as soon as they drank.—

On left  and right—a wonderful sight!

Like the teeth that Jason sowed. . . .

The handpiece had lost and theory won

In the way the textbooks showed.

All day he watched the people drink—

They knew the Milky Way.

To make teeth new, so that they could chew

As in old Piltdown’s day.

Sound teeth that could munch raw carrots for lunch

And no one to say them “Neigh”;

The people through their whitened teeth

Shouted “We’re caries-free!”

And the buzz of an engine hummed aloud

With a voice so bright with glee

That he started in his sleep and smiled

With thanks to Vitamin D.

He did not hear his nurse’s call

Nor his patient go away,

A swoon had o’ertaken his pleasant dream

And his shattered body lay,

A worn-out thing beside the tooth

He had pulled that very day.

From the Dental Magazine and oral Topics (London)